I just went to see “Bombshell” with Charlize Theron
as Megyn Kelly and Nicole Kidman as Gretchen Carlson. It was powerful to see
how these women brought down serial sexual harasser, Roger Ailes of the Fox
News Network.
What struck me the most was the silence of dozens of
women who had been subjected to this sordid harassment for years. When Gretchen
Carlson first filed her lawsuit against Ailes, she could get no women to
support her story and to tell their own stories. Ailes made a concerted
campaign to turn Fox staff members against Gretchen, and to plant spies to find
out who might be talking about Ailes’ untoward treatment of them.
Enter Megyn Kelly, who was trying to balance keeping
her prestigious position as a Fox News Anchor with joining Carlson’s lawsuit.
Finally, after some months passed, during which time Kelly was attacked by
Presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, for her searing questioning during the
Republican debates, Kelly began to come down off the fence. She became the 23rd
woman to join the lawsuit against Ailes, which ultimately led to Ailes’ firing
from Fox News. A big victory for women! One of the first such victories in this #MeToo
Era.
What I started wondering about is why women today in
many situations, have little loyalty and feelings of camaraderie with other
women. In “Why Women (Sometimes) Don’t Help Other Women” in the June 23, 2016
issue of The Atlantic, Marianne
Cooper conjectures that when women are not supportive of other women in the
workplace, it’s often a response to sexism by the distancing of themselves from
other women. In this way, they will be seen as someone who is toeing the line,
and not identifying with women who have lesser status, and therefore, keeping
their own tenuous, special high status positions. (https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/06/queen-bee/488144/)
Thus, instead of helping other women to climb the ladder of success, successful
women may sometimes, buy into the gender discrimination that keeps women down.
I find this concept illuminating, though troubling. I’m from the old school Sisterhood is Powerful (Robin Morgan’s 1970s women’s liberation book) building community with women framework. In all the organizations to which I belong, I work to connect with other women and support them as they usually do with me. I sing in a community chorus, Womansong of Asheville, in which we not only give concerts, we also consider ourselves a village. I organize events for women, sing for equality, march, and write for our empowerment in a world dominated by good old boys still.
I find this concept illuminating, though troubling. I’m from the old school Sisterhood is Powerful (Robin Morgan’s 1970s women’s liberation book) building community with women framework. In all the organizations to which I belong, I work to connect with other women and support them as they usually do with me. I sing in a community chorus, Womansong of Asheville, in which we not only give concerts, we also consider ourselves a village. I organize events for women, sing for equality, march, and write for our empowerment in a world dominated by good old boys still.
In the 1980s I worked for a greeting card company. One of the other employees started telling off color jokes, which I felt were demeaning to women. Then he started coming over to my work station and touching me. I told him to stop, but he continued this harassment. He treated several other women at this company in this same manner. When I spoke to some of these women, most of them thought he was cute, and said they weren't bothered by his unsolicited, inappropriate touching them. I was shocked that they weren't bothered by this flagrant demeaning behavior. It seems related to the oppression that women are subjected to, which often leads to a feeling that we are not worth standing up for, that we are less than human. Using women's bodies in dehumanizing sexist advertising and pornography helps lead to this desensitization to sexist violence.
I complained to management, and was fired the next day. They did not want to deal with it. It was easier to fire me, apparently. I ended up filing a sexual harassment lawsuit against this company. I filed with the EEOC and the NLRB and was represented by the Indiana University Women's Affairs attorney. The company owner offered to settle with me for $7000, so management must have realized that this harassment was actually happening. Now I wish I had taken the settlement. Instead I continued with the lawsuit. The National Labor Relations Board could not get enough evidence as the women who had seen this harassment, and who had been harassed themselves, refused to testify. The Equal Opportunities Commission did not take up the case because of a several years' backlog of cases.
Later I talked to one of these women who didn't testify in my case, which turned my case into a "she said, he said" case, which I did not win. She acknowledged the harassment, but she didn't want to stick her neck out. She feared that she, too, might be fired. We didn't have a union in this plant. I think the other women who were harassed probably had the same sort of resistance.
Besides overt job discrimination, lack of paid maternity leave, and harassment, there is a huge gender pay gap. Currently, there is a gender wage disparity with white women making 79% of white male salaries; African-American women 62%, and Hispanic women 54% of white male salaries (https://iwpr.org/publications/annual-gender-wage-gap-2018/. )
What does it take to encourage women to support one another? Many have spoken out with the advent of the #MeToo movement, and several high profile serial abusers have been fired, and some have been put into prison. How can we make work places safe enough for women so we will report harassment, and will support other women who report it?
I complained to management, and was fired the next day. They did not want to deal with it. It was easier to fire me, apparently. I ended up filing a sexual harassment lawsuit against this company. I filed with the EEOC and the NLRB and was represented by the Indiana University Women's Affairs attorney. The company owner offered to settle with me for $7000, so management must have realized that this harassment was actually happening. Now I wish I had taken the settlement. Instead I continued with the lawsuit. The National Labor Relations Board could not get enough evidence as the women who had seen this harassment, and who had been harassed themselves, refused to testify. The Equal Opportunities Commission did not take up the case because of a several years' backlog of cases.
Later I talked to one of these women who didn't testify in my case, which turned my case into a "she said, he said" case, which I did not win. She acknowledged the harassment, but she didn't want to stick her neck out. She feared that she, too, might be fired. We didn't have a union in this plant. I think the other women who were harassed probably had the same sort of resistance.
Besides overt job discrimination, lack of paid maternity leave, and harassment, there is a huge gender pay gap. Currently, there is a gender wage disparity with white women making 79% of white male salaries; African-American women 62%, and Hispanic women 54% of white male salaries (https://iwpr.org/publications/annual-gender-wage-gap-2018/. )
In the Atlantic
article I mentioned earlier, Cooper calls this lack of camaraderie among women,“The Queen Bee Syndrome.”
Because of years of subordination, women
who have achieved some success, sometimes feel that in order to keep their
positions, it is wise to align with the men at the top in organizations rather
than other women, whom they could be helping to rise in their positions. Women sometimes feel a keen sense of competition with other women for a few management positions. It is possible that some women don't want to support others who may be vying for the same positions in the company, positions that are hard won for women, and in which men are much more represented.
What does it take to encourage women to support one another? Many have spoken out with the advent of the #MeToo movement, and several high profile serial abusers have been fired, and some have been put into prison. How can we make work places safe enough for women so we will report harassment, and will support other women who report it?
What is the solution to this knotty problem? All I
know to do is to continue to try to build a community of women, maybe more
locally this time. It seems easier when there is face-to-face communication. I
will work to improve communications, and to make sure that I am open and honest
in all my interactions. Join me, sisters. Our unity is our strength.
